Creepy Mannequins are Creepy

So I’ve never been much of a Silent Hill fan. Not that I don’t think the franchise is crappy; the first game scared the pants off of me. I tried to play the whole way through and just couldn’t do it. Even if I played at high noon with the lights on for good measure, and my mom in the next room. Still couldn’t get through it. I saw the first movie by myself, trying to prove that I could watch something gory and creepy and be a brave little geek (it didn’t quite work). While I didn’t find that I needed to have my mom with me, the ick factor made me cover my face more than actually watch it. I just don’t do ick very well. I can write the hell out of it, but seeing it is different. So imagine my surprise when I watched Silent Hill: Revelation and actually found it not too bad. There was still ick, which I tried to watch and just felt grossed out. And the acting wasn’t phenomenal, even with Sean Bean (Silent Hill is coming!). What made me actually enjoy the movie? Two words:

Mannequin Spider.

 

Kim Cattrall's got nothing on this guy.

Kim Cattrall’s got nothing on this guy.

Mannequins are creepy, right? Even when they’re not animated and trying to eat your face. The mannequins at the mall, those creepy old dolls, even some dress forms can be menacing. Throw in several heads that scream and try to eat you and you’ve got…this. And then this creepy dude webs you up, then when its ready apparently it undresses you and lays you out on a table so evil goo can come out of nowhere and coat you like a truffle.

Note how Mannequin Spider has to rest his creepy hands on her plastic boobs.

Note how Mannequin Spider has to rest his creepy hands on her plastic boobs.

I won’t ruin the rest of it but even though this guy is disturbing, this was also the one part where I didn’t have my eyes half covered, and I was saying “this is badASS!” while simultaneous saying “this is way creepo!”

Pyramid Head, we still love you. Naughty No-face Nurses, same to you. Creepy Mannequin Spider deserves to be up there with you in the iconic Silent Hill cast of monsters.

Now as for the game…maybe I’ll try it out. When my mom comes to visit.